There’s not a red warning light that comes on showing it’s time when an older parent, relative, or close friend in your life might need some form of care. Instead, the signs are often subtle, might appear gradually, and, as a result, are often overlooked.

If this issue is relevant to you because you have an older loved one in your life, then it’s important to develop an early warning system that alerts you to the need for some intervention. Ideally, you’d develop this early warning system together with the senior or seniors in your life, so that they’ll be more likely to agree when it’s time for them to accept help.

The Thinking Ahead Roadmap is a website sponsored by AARP and the University of Minnesota that contains “blazing red emergency signals” and “yellow caution signals” regarding seniors who may need intervention and care. Let’s take a look.

Blazing Red Emergency Signals

Here are six warning signs that might suggest your loved one needs immediate help:

  1. A spouse or partner passes away, leaving the survivor alone and vulnerable. This can be a particularly dangerous time if the survivor didn’t handle finances involving investments, insurance, or taxes.
  2. Your loved one starts making serious mistakes, such as forgetting to take medications, not filing tax returns, or neglecting to pay important bills such as property taxes or insurance.
  3. There’s been a diagnosis of a serious disease such as Alzheimer’s, dementia, cancer, heart disease, or any other disruptive condition.
  4. Your loved one has gotten lost recently when driving or walking to familiar places.
  5. There’s been a significant loss of money as a result of being defrauded or making mistakes.
  6. Your loved one’s doctor, lawyer, accountant, financial advisor, neighbors or friends contact you to express their concern.

Noting one or more of these signals could be sufficient cause to meet with your loved one as soon as possible to discuss your concern and prepare a plan of action.

Yellow Caution Signals

Here are six, more subtle signs that could indicate the need for some help. It’s possible that immediate invention is premature, but seeing one or more of these signals can put you on alert that intervention might be needed in the near future.

  1. Your loved one shows disturbing signs of memory loss, such as being confused as to where they are or asking the same question repeatedly.
  2. Their personal habits worsen with respect to their dress, hygiene, eating habits, weight loss, or household condition.
  3. Ordinary tasks such as paying bills, shopping, and household chores are neglected or delayed.
  4. Your loved one spends much of their time alone, often because they’re driving less. Or they don’t carry on conversations with the same energy and focus as they used to.
  5. Their car develops new dents and scratches. Alternatively, their car battery dies due to lack of use or it’s obvious that repairs are needed that are being ignored.
  6. They start expressing a need for some help, or they develop an interest in assisted living.

If you notice any of these signs, you could begin a conversation with your loved one to learn more about their situation and their concerns. This conversation might result in you and your loved one developing an action plan to be triggered in the near future.

What Help Could Be Needed?

It’s rare that a senior goes immediately from living completely independently to living in a full-time assisted living facility. It’s common for them to need light help initially for a period of time, during which they can continue in their current living situation. Then, over time, they become frailer and might require more help or need a different living situation.

Light help can include shopping, taking your loved one to doctor’s appointments, preparing a few meals with or for them each week, paying their bills, working with them to get help with investments or insurance, safe-proofing their house, and making sure they take their medications. Of course, this “light help” might take up a lot of your time, and you may need to look for help from outside sources.

If needed, more involved assistance might include paid in-home caregivers who spend significant time in your loved one’s home, assisted living or other senior living arrangements, and, in some situations, memory care or a nursing home.

Helpful Resources

In addition to national resources such as AARP, there are regional area agencies on aging that can help with these issues. They are public or private nonprofit agencies identified by a state to meet the needs of older persons in their geographic area.

There are also organizations, such as CarePatrol, that help seniors and their families determine the living situation that might best meet the needs of your senior loved one. Care Patrol has a very helpful resources page on their website. One of their–11-1/2 Signs It Might Be Time for Assisted Living–provides details on the ideas discussed here and is particularly helpful.

If you’re going through this journey with a loved one, thank you for your efforts. Hopefully you’ll find it gratifying, even if it can be trying at times. And it might even give you a wake-up call to work with your family and friends to develop a course of action for yourself.